Stop Asking HR to Be Everyone’s Therapist

Who supports the people who support everyone else? In this episode, Hebba Youssef—founder of the “I Hate It Here” community—opens up about the emotional weight HR professionals carry every day.

They’re expected to coach, mentor, and even act like therapists—while managing burnout and unclear boundaries. Most companies don’t see the pressure they’re under.

We break down the unrealistic expectations placed on HR, the real difference between coaching, mentoring, and therapy, and why leaning on HR for emotional support may be causing more harm than good.

After this episode, you’ll never look at your HR team—or your company’s “support system”—the same way again.

Key Takeaways

HR is carrying an emotional burden it was never trained for

Hebba argues that HR has unintentionally become the therapist, coach, and crisis counselor for organizations — especially since COVID. The pandemic blurred boundaries between work and personal well-being, and employees increasingly turned to HR for emotional support. But HR professionals are rarely trained mental health experts, creating emotional burnout and unrealistic expectations.

“It’s become this one-stop shop for everything — mental health, conflict, leadership, burnout. But that’s an impossible expectation.”

Coaching, mentorship, and therapy are not the same — and HR shouldn’t pretend they are

One of Hebba’s biggest insights is the need to distinguish between coaching, mentoring, and therapy. Each serves a different purpose:

Therapy uncovers emotional and psychological roots.
Coaching focuses on future growth and behavioral change.
Mentorship shares tactical, experience-based guidance.

Yet, HR professionals are often expected to fill all three roles simultaneously, without formal training.

“There’s overlap between all three, but therapy is about healing, coaching is about growth, and mentoring is about direction.”

Boundaries build trust — “I’m out of my depth” is a valid answer

Hebba emphasizes the importance of setting and communicating limits — especially when faced with sensitive employee situations (mental health crises, legal issues, or deep emotional distress). The courage to say “I’m not equipped to handle this” actually increases credibility and safety.

“If your gut says this isn’t right, stop. You’ll do more harm than good by taking on what you’re not qualified for.”

HR’s identity crisis: from “fun police” to strategic people architects

Hebba describes HR as being in the midst of an existential transformation. The pandemic and social change elevated HR from an administrative function to a core strategic driver. Yet, many still see HR through an outdated lens — event planners or rule enforcers.

“We’ve gone from being the fun police to the people strategy architects. HR today sits at the intersection of business and humanity.”

The future of HR lies in community, not heroism

The most powerful shift Hebba advocates is collective support — HR professionals helping each other. Through her Safe Space community, thousands of HR leaders exchange guidance, empathy, and solutions. She rejects the “HR hero” myth that one person should have all the answers.

“The biggest life hack for me was making friends in HR. You don’t have to carry this alone.”

Watch the full video of Stop Asking HR to Be Everyone’s Therapist.