Be Kind To Yourself. Be Kind To Others. It Heals Communities.

Dec 18

Boon Coach, Kathleen Fariss

The holiday season is a time of mixed emotions. It can be wonderfully memorable, yet also surprisingly stressful. Amidst the hustle and bustle, it's crucial to remind ourselves to pause, take a breath, and extend kindness to both ourselves and others. Embracing these moments of reflection and refocus can be a powerful antidote to potential anxiety and stress. So, as the holiday rush approaches, consider this an invitation to practice being present and cultivating a sense of calm.

As I take my own moment to pause, I’m reminded of a key component of what makes the holidays so memorable: Kindness. Kindness is a self-subscribed way of being that can be healing for yourself and others. It’s also a superpower that can cause a ripple effect throughout the world, one intentional moment and interaction at a time. It’s about paying attention to others’ needs, as my dear friend Dr. Rob Mckenna, founder of WiLD Leaders, aptly puts it, but first, paying attention to oneself.

Ask yourself, what would change if you were kinder to yourself and others? What’s your response? How would that pause feel inside your body if you intentionally chose to feel what being kind to yourself felt like, especially during this time of the year when there are so many things to do, and countless ways to show up as a human being and see yourself and others for who they were born to be? What if we believed in the best intentions of ourselves and others? How would that change how we feel and lead in the world?

It can be true that things often get messy before they get clear, and the tension between sitting in the stuckness and moving to be kind to yourself and others can take just one step. One intentional move forward, as Mel Robbins says, 1, 2, 3, go!

According to the co-founders of The Kindness Games, Lee Oughton and Tim Wenzel, a single post changed their mindset about community and sparked a global movement to invite others into their own kindness journey by posting for 30 days straight, recognizing those who have impacted their lives along.

The Kindness Games is a wonderful movement and I’ve participated in it as a contributor and beneficiary. There are many wonderful benefits to lifting up those around you and recognizing their accomplishments and impact. But what if we were intentionally kind to ourselves first?

Here are some thoughts on kindness to consider for both yourself and others:

1. You're Not Alone: Be brave and take one step forward, regardless of what it is, and lean in. You’ll be surprised by the outpouring of support you'll receive. How? Send a handwritten note or a text of appreciation.

2. Asking For Help Is Courageous: Regardless of how you were raised, it’s important to reach out and ask for help. It takes great courage, strength, and a willingness to face your vulnerability to seek support. Share your brilliance with the world and invite others in.

3. Stay In Community: When you feel like hiding or digging a hole, remember you aren’t invisible to other people. Pick up the phone, send an email, schedule a Zoom call, meet for coffee, and stay connected. Your community needs you to share your love and light as much as you need it your community. Spread kindness like confetti; it lessens stress and anxiety.

4. Have Faith: Believing in a cause much bigger than you requires first believing in yourself. Be kind and take that walk, go to that party, eat that special meal, hug just a little longer.

5. Your Voice Matters: Share It! When we choose to share our voices, we can be seen and heard, breaking restricting cycles and generational norms. Start small by sending a daily text of appreciation to a family member or friend. Who can you reach out to today and see them and be kind?

6. Get Out Of Your Own Way: We can shift and grow once we become more aware of the triggers under the surface that cause us to spend days on autopilot and not show our whole selves. Choose to lean in and be kind. It's a choice to be kind to ourselves and others. Spend time with that special friend today.

7. Be Curious: Ask yourself what support you need today. What one kind thing would warm your heart? Being curious and listening to yourself go hand in hand. Your intuition is telling you something about what you need and the future. Give yourself permission to receive it.

8. Get a Coach or Mentor: We all need support to fully step into who we were born to be. Show compassion for yourself and others. It's not a sign of weakness; it's a superpower! Who can you intentionally invest in this coming year? Reach out and do it!

9. Celebrate All That’s Special and Unique about YOU!: Reflecting on ourselves and being kind allows us to see patterns and intentionally choose kindness for ourselves and others. We can honor our stories and the stories of others. Share a special shout-out on social media to celebrate who they are and give the gift of kindness.

10. Inspire and Uplift: “You don't have to think too hard or overdo it. Keep it short, simple, from the heart, and always be authentic.” - The Kindness Games: How a Single Post Changed Our Mindset About Community.

Remember, we heal through our interactions, one intentional moment at a time. Be kind to yourself and be kind to others. We each have only one opportunity in this beautiful life. And always remember, taking time to be kind to yourself is a sign of incredible strength, not weakness. I see you.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.