Making Decisions Based on the NOW
Tricia Gehl, Boon Coach
When making decisions, we do our best to weigh options, assess all the variables, consider everyone who could potentially be impacted and evaluate our wants and needs. We try to factor in any and all eventualities, including what might be coming in the future.
What happens when we focus a bit too much on the future, letting it carry the most weight in dictating our final decision? How do we let the future be a factor without allowing it to have the final say so?
NOW is the Time
A few years ago, I was working with a client whose family had outgrown their condo and was looking to find a space that would better fit their needs. Despite the fact that she and her family were currently living in Seattle, she one day out of the blue started talking about several home listings that were in the Boston suburbs. Although most of the listings were fantastic, and were likely to meet her and her family’s needs, this was the first time throughout the course of our work together that she’d even mentioned the East Coast. So, I started asking questions:
Tricia: “You wanting to move to the Boston suburbs isn’t something I’ve heard from you before. When did that happen?”
Client: “I don’t want to move there! We absolutely love living in Seattle. Everything about living here fits our family: the lifestyle, the types of activities we love, the politics, the fantastic community we’ve built, even the weather.”
Tricia: “So, what’s driving the sudden need to move across the country?”
Client: “We’re going to have to move back there eventually, since my parents still live there and will most likely need my help as they age. Since we’re going to have to move there in the next 5-7 years anyway, we may as well just move there now so we don’t have to move twice.”
Tricia: “It sounds like this decision is being driven solely by your potential future needs. Where do your current needs fit into this decision?”
Through some deeper coaching work, we uncovered that this had been my client’s life-long decision-making pattern; making decisions to please and accommodate her future self, leaving her current self unsatisfied, unfulfilled, and disappointed. The home purchase conversation simply brought this inner block to light, and she quickly realized this decision-making pattern was no longer serving her. From there, I gently challenged her to start factoring in the now as we explored not only her next home purchase, but also her next career move, the type of self-development work she was considering, and even her hobbies. Since we are constantly growing, changing, and evolving as human beings, we have no idea what our needs and preferences might be even a year from now.
Take a minute right now to do a quick thought experiment with yourself:
What if today, you were living your life solely based on the needs and preferences of the WHO you were five years ago?
What would you be doing?
Who might you be in a relationship with?
Where would you be spending the bulk of your time?
What hobbies and self-care practices would you be committed to?
For many of us, the “new” life that we just saw in our mind’s eye might not be the best fit for who we are today. Make sure the now, and not the later, carries the most weight when calculating and considering next steps.
Your Crystal Ball Might Be Faulty
Now, I am in no way advocating for anyone to completely omit factoring in the future and leaving their aging parents to fend for themselves, as there are often legitimate, unchanging scenarios in the road ahead that might need to dictate and drive our decisions. But, when considering future factors as part of the decision-making process, what most people are actually doing is thinking through the “what-ifs?.” A lot of their data points are rooted in what could happen instead of what is likely to happen.
Let’s go back to my client for a minute. She was considering a move to the Boston suburbs based solely on the idea that she will one day need to take care of her aging parents there, and she didn’t want to have to move twice. Six months after she and her family decided to stay put in Seattle, her parents announced that they were going to move to their vacation home in South Carolina, full time. One of the data points behind my client’s previous consideration to move herself and her family across the country had now changed. What we believe will be our future is not always accurate, but what we want and need in the here and now is.
If you find yourself over-focusing on the future when making decisions, consider the benefits of focusing on your wants and needs in the here and now:
It allows you to focus on the most pressing needs at the present moment
It helps keep you from making decisions that are based on potential future needs that may never materialize
It prevents you from committing resources to future possibilities that may not be feasible or practical
It keeps you from becoming overwhelmed by trying to plan for every possible future scenario
It helps you remain flexible and able to adjust to changing conditions
It encourages you to stay focused on the present and make the most of current opportunities
It helps prevent you from becoming distracted by hypothetical situations or scenarios
It helps you prioritize your resources and make the most of what you have right now
Consider working with a Boon coach if you’re looking to explore how the above might be impacting your own life!
Interested in learning more about how Boon can help you and your teams? Schedule a Demo.
