Prioritizing YOU During the Holiday Season
Tricia Gehl, Boon Coach
The holidays are a time for giving, which often translates to getting things just right in order to make everything as special as possible for those we love. We spend hours sifting through and putting up decorations that honor our family traditions and heritage; we fill our schedules to bursting with extra parties, dinners, and get-togethers with friends and colleagues; we search far and wide for the perfect gift for everyone on our list (and that list seems to get longer each year); we prepare all the foods and baked goods our loved ones enjoy most. That’s a lot of giving.
We give away so much of our time and energy during the holiday season that there’s often nothing left for ourselves. Most of us don’t even consider our own needs during the holidays and instead choose to focus on how to make it magical for everyone else. So, how do you put the YOU back in Yuletide?
What Do You Need?
During a recent coaching session, after working through a plan for how she was going to tackle her holiday shopping and other associated to-do’s, my client blurted out, “I just want to walk around the city and look at some damn Christmas decorations all by myself!” It turns out that my client has been feeling personally disconnected from the Holiday merriment since she and her wife had their twins three years ago. Although they’ve gone all-in on all things Christmas for the kids (i.e., pictures with Santa, visits to Holiday markets, Holiday story hours at their local bookstore, dressing them in matching Christmas pajamas, etc.), my client was longing for a one-on-one connection to the joyous Holiday spirit for herself. Taking an afternoon for some solo city exploration turned out to be all my client needed to recapture her festive spark. Wandering the streets, bundled up with hot chocolate in hand, my client reconnected with her inner child and rediscovered the deep warmth and inner joy of Christmas that she’d forgotten about. Give yourself permission to get clarity on what it is that YOU need to make your Holidays merry and bright.
What’s Stopping You?
In a word: guilt. “I’d just love to have an afternoon to wander about and look at some decorations without having to manage tantrums, wipe noses, and search the ground for dropped gloves. Wow, I feel like a horrible person just saying that out loud.” Sound familiar? Lots of guilt and self-judgment in those words. So many of us are conditioned to believe that wanting to have our own needs met is selfish. We’re told that if we take time to do something just for ourselves, that takes away from the time we could be doing something for our families and friends. Working to release any guilt we have around our own personal needs is the first step toward fulfillment and satisfaction.
Making it Happen
Set some boundaries and expectations. Need an afternoon of Holiday sightseeing sans children, like my client? Tell your partner and make arrangements to make it happen. Need to go the “gift card only” route with Holiday gifts since you’ve got way too much on your plate this year? Go for it! Setting clear boundaries and expectations around your needs is the only way to get them met. Be bold and brave when setting limits around your time or asking for exactly what you want and need.
Pay yourself first. Instead of saying you’ll reward yourself with a massage after the Holidays have wrapped up, how about doing that first? It’s okay to give yourself a gift before getting them for others. Will a night out with friends at the start of the festive season, instead of at the end, help get you through the Holidays? Make those plans!
What you get, you give. Consider the ripple effect that might result from getting your own needs met and how that might translate to how you show up for others during the Holidays. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup!
Interested in learning more about how Boon can help you and your teams? Schedule a Demo.
